Monday, November 07, 2005
The International Perspective
I have just started working on an asylum case, and it has brought me to the conclusion that I am a whiny, spoiled bastard. While people in other countries are being beaten and poked with sharp objects simply because they express a desire to, oh I don't know, vote or practice their religions, I am complaining about the limited selection at Video Shmideo. While brave men and women under oppressive regimes risk their lives in the hope of restoring basic freedoms to their citizenry, I find it too burdensome to read anything but the Arts & Leisure section of the newspaper. While some desperate souls flee their homelands under threat of death and take menial jobs in this country just to have some slight taste of opportunity, I bitch about the stale donuts at the Monday morning meeting for my ridiculously lucrative office job. So yeah, I'm kind of not cool.
But I am, at the very least, aspiring to self improve. First off, I am going to win this case, and then I'm going to buy our client some therapy for his post traumatic stress syndrome and also like a Gameboy or something, because it's time he had a little bit of fun in his life. Then I'm going to start watching PBS all the time, and not just the kids' shows, like the real news shows where people wear suits and have accents. And I'll become like really really politically active, with rallies and everything, although I'm still not going to watch the debates because they always strike me as a dismally unfunny absurdist play. Plus I'll give like a million dollars to charity, because God knows I'd just waste it on booze anyway. Then I'll be awesome.
They've really got to stop me from working on these cases before I decide to move to Africa and give all my CDs to the poor.
I have just started working on an asylum case, and it has brought me to the conclusion that I am a whiny, spoiled bastard. While people in other countries are being beaten and poked with sharp objects simply because they express a desire to, oh I don't know, vote or practice their religions, I am complaining about the limited selection at Video Shmideo. While brave men and women under oppressive regimes risk their lives in the hope of restoring basic freedoms to their citizenry, I find it too burdensome to read anything but the Arts & Leisure section of the newspaper. While some desperate souls flee their homelands under threat of death and take menial jobs in this country just to have some slight taste of opportunity, I bitch about the stale donuts at the Monday morning meeting for my ridiculously lucrative office job. So yeah, I'm kind of not cool.
But I am, at the very least, aspiring to self improve. First off, I am going to win this case, and then I'm going to buy our client some therapy for his post traumatic stress syndrome and also like a Gameboy or something, because it's time he had a little bit of fun in his life. Then I'm going to start watching PBS all the time, and not just the kids' shows, like the real news shows where people wear suits and have accents. And I'll become like really really politically active, with rallies and everything, although I'm still not going to watch the debates because they always strike me as a dismally unfunny absurdist play. Plus I'll give like a million dollars to charity, because God knows I'd just waste it on booze anyway. Then I'll be awesome.
They've really got to stop me from working on these cases before I decide to move to Africa and give all my CDs to the poor.
