Tuesday, April 18, 2006
The Latest in Christ
So I didn't go home for Easter this year. Usually there's nowhere I'd rather be for the Big R than in the middle of Ruby Tuesday's with my 94-year-old grandmother scream-whispering about the fat lady at the salad bar, but due to my inordinately busy schedule of studying legal documents with an intensity generally reserved for Joyce's Ulysses and unpacking items I didn't even realize I owned in the first place, I had to miss out this year. But don't worry, there was still an observance, of the most solemn and profound kind.
First, I went to church. I didn't even wear my track pants this week. But I did decide to sneak out rather than get my snack-sized portion of the Body of Christ, because there was a huge traffic jam leading up to the altar. I think an SUV overturned or something. But I figured, hey, I eat Jesus every week, so I might as well give other people a chance. Besides, the communion him was "Taste and See," which everyone knows is like one of the worst God Jams ever. Although the Jay-Z mashup is pretty hott.
Then I went to the gym. I figure Jesus likes good abs as much as the rest of us. Anyone who spent that much time wearing a sheet had to have been body conscious.
And Roommate Liz and I had Easter Dinner! She made a ham, cheesy potatoes, asparagus, and a delicious blondie brownie treat! I made a box of wine. It tasted kind of like Kool-Aid. Come to think of it, it may be the same stuff they use at my church. See, I'm the most awesomely pious person ever!
So I didn't go home for Easter this year. Usually there's nowhere I'd rather be for the Big R than in the middle of Ruby Tuesday's with my 94-year-old grandmother scream-whispering about the fat lady at the salad bar, but due to my inordinately busy schedule of studying legal documents with an intensity generally reserved for Joyce's Ulysses and unpacking items I didn't even realize I owned in the first place, I had to miss out this year. But don't worry, there was still an observance, of the most solemn and profound kind.
First, I went to church. I didn't even wear my track pants this week. But I did decide to sneak out rather than get my snack-sized portion of the Body of Christ, because there was a huge traffic jam leading up to the altar. I think an SUV overturned or something. But I figured, hey, I eat Jesus every week, so I might as well give other people a chance. Besides, the communion him was "Taste and See," which everyone knows is like one of the worst God Jams ever. Although the Jay-Z mashup is pretty hott.
Then I went to the gym. I figure Jesus likes good abs as much as the rest of us. Anyone who spent that much time wearing a sheet had to have been body conscious.
And Roommate Liz and I had Easter Dinner! She made a ham, cheesy potatoes, asparagus, and a delicious blondie brownie treat! I made a box of wine. It tasted kind of like Kool-Aid. Come to think of it, it may be the same stuff they use at my church. See, I'm the most awesomely pious person ever!
