Sunday, July 09, 2006
Major Malfunctions
ComEd appears to have taken up permanent residence in the alley behind my condo. A couple of hours ago there were two guys riding up and down in those mechanical baskets; mainly they appeared to be playing chicken with each other, although they did succeed in setting one of the lines on fire at one point. Now there is a truck with a huge spool of cable on the back, which I can only assume is for craft-making purposes, as there continues to be nothing wrong with our power service. Don't get me wrong, though; it's nice to have people swearing and banging metal objects together outside my window at 11 PM. I feel a sudden urge to travel back to 1999 and go see Stomp.
In other major mechanical failures, I managed to singlehandedly ruin my secretary's retirement party on Friday. Apparently, despite the lack of any mention of a surprise in the painstakingly-illustrated email invitation, the cake and two liters were meant to be subjected to the utmost secrecy. I sort of caught on to this when my secretary stared at me blankly after I told her I would definitely be at her party. I think she was still surprised by the callous indifference gifted to her my a supermajority of my coworkers, however. And that's the gift that keeps on giving.
I also ate a whole plate of nachos today. And watched half an episode of Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. My God, I am the lowest form of life.
ComEd appears to have taken up permanent residence in the alley behind my condo. A couple of hours ago there were two guys riding up and down in those mechanical baskets; mainly they appeared to be playing chicken with each other, although they did succeed in setting one of the lines on fire at one point. Now there is a truck with a huge spool of cable on the back, which I can only assume is for craft-making purposes, as there continues to be nothing wrong with our power service. Don't get me wrong, though; it's nice to have people swearing and banging metal objects together outside my window at 11 PM. I feel a sudden urge to travel back to 1999 and go see Stomp.
In other major mechanical failures, I managed to singlehandedly ruin my secretary's retirement party on Friday. Apparently, despite the lack of any mention of a surprise in the painstakingly-illustrated email invitation, the cake and two liters were meant to be subjected to the utmost secrecy. I sort of caught on to this when my secretary stared at me blankly after I told her I would definitely be at her party. I think she was still surprised by the callous indifference gifted to her my a supermajority of my coworkers, however. And that's the gift that keeps on giving.
I also ate a whole plate of nachos today. And watched half an episode of Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. My God, I am the lowest form of life.
