Wednesday, October 31, 2007
How Are Americans Spending This Halloween?
23% Regretting their decision to procreate.
21% Wondering if they're too old to pull off a Spongebob Squarepants costume.
15% Writing angry letters to the editor about the heathen public school system.
12% Trying to leverage free candy x-rays into free biopsy.
11% Engaging in ill-advised hookup with non-English speaker in Cher costume.
10% Gorging self on Baby Ruths; silently weeping.
5% Being really freaked out by "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."
2% Stocking up on pirate gear to serve their secret fetishes for the remainder of the year.
1% Trying to figure out how to get the razor blade into the damn Jujubee.
23% Regretting their decision to procreate.
21% Wondering if they're too old to pull off a Spongebob Squarepants costume.
15% Writing angry letters to the editor about the heathen public school system.
12% Trying to leverage free candy x-rays into free biopsy.
11% Engaging in ill-advised hookup with non-English speaker in Cher costume.
10% Gorging self on Baby Ruths; silently weeping.
5% Being really freaked out by "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."
2% Stocking up on pirate gear to serve their secret fetishes for the remainder of the year.
1% Trying to figure out how to get the razor blade into the damn Jujubee.
