Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I Know...
I just finished watching the last twenty minutes of I Know Who Killed Me and I have more questions than answers. How did Dakota manage to become a stripper despite moving with the approximate sexiness of Barbara Bush? Why did Aubrey's parents chose to adopt a crack addict's child? Were there no meth addicts available? And why, for that matter, would they only adopt one of a set of twins? And why would they then be so surprised to meet someone who looks like their daughter but claims to not be her? Did Lindsay Lohan think playing twins would rekindle the glory of her Parent Trap days? If so, did she not understand that mischievously bringing her parents back together was an exceedingly important part of that winning formula? Is there really such a thing as stigmatic twins? If so, are the Olsen twins stigmatic? If not, why not? Wouldn't that make them kind of awesome? And possibly remove the specter of How the West Was Fun? Isn't it a lot of trouble for a piano teacher to go to to kidnap and mutilate his students because they threaten to quit? Did he try bribing them with candy first? And what happens in the first sixty minutes of the movie. Is it awesome? Please, I am dying to know.
I just finished watching the last twenty minutes of I Know Who Killed Me and I have more questions than answers. How did Dakota manage to become a stripper despite moving with the approximate sexiness of Barbara Bush? Why did Aubrey's parents chose to adopt a crack addict's child? Were there no meth addicts available? And why, for that matter, would they only adopt one of a set of twins? And why would they then be so surprised to meet someone who looks like their daughter but claims to not be her? Did Lindsay Lohan think playing twins would rekindle the glory of her Parent Trap days? If so, did she not understand that mischievously bringing her parents back together was an exceedingly important part of that winning formula? Is there really such a thing as stigmatic twins? If so, are the Olsen twins stigmatic? If not, why not? Wouldn't that make them kind of awesome? And possibly remove the specter of How the West Was Fun? Isn't it a lot of trouble for a piano teacher to go to to kidnap and mutilate his students because they threaten to quit? Did he try bribing them with candy first? And what happens in the first sixty minutes of the movie. Is it awesome? Please, I am dying to know.
