Wednesday, January 28, 2009
A Textual Analysis of Actual Posts on Entertainment Weekly Dot Com's Message Boards
Subject: Fantasia Covers "Lady Marmalade"
Poster: "Ann"
Post: Now that's sanging
Man she tow that up
That is what you call taking them back to school old time funk
Giving you your money worth sanging
I was grinning from ear to ear
I haven't seen anybody tear up the place like that in years
Thank you
Analysis: Notice the creative use of line breaks to direct the reader's attention. The unconventional spellings show the author's status as a rebel, an outsider to the conventions of "polite" literature. The work is much reminiscent of e.e. cummings.
Subject: OscarWatch -- Kate Winslet's Odds?
Poster: bob
Post: Go Kate! 8===1)
Analysis: The author refuses to succumb to the tyranny of words, choosing instead to use characters to construct a vivid picture. Either that, or there was a keyboard mishap that just happens to look like a penis.
Subject: TV Spoilers
Poster: Nate
Post: I can't believe you don't like The United States of Tara. It's brilliant and lovable and I enjoy every minute...and I laugh out loud, which is rare. I am disappointed in you.
Analysis: The author believes that the viewing (or not viewing) of television programs has a moral dimension, and that it is his obligation to save non-Tara-loving souls from themselves. He is also far too fond of the ellipsis, which probably has something to do with not getting enough hugs from his mother at three and a half.
Subject: David Archuleta Announces Tour
Poster: A SMASH HIT DEFINITELY!
Post: IT'S WORTH SEEING DAVID ARCHULETA CONCERT - I ATTENDED HIS CONCERT BEFORE WHAT A GREAT EXPERIENCED - THE ONLY DRAW BACK IS ONCE YOU'VE BEEN TO HIS CONCERT; WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN AND AGAIN.
YOU ARE JUST ADDICTED TO HIS MUSIC PLUS HE IS VERY GOOD IN LIVE.
IGNORE THOSE HATER FOR THEY ARE JEALOUS AND A DAVID COOK DIE HARD FANS - THEY CAN KISS HIS SMELLY ASS AS MUCH AS THEY WANT - WE COULDN'T CARELESS.
Analysis: The author is clearly insane.
Subject: Fantasia Covers "Lady Marmalade"
Poster: "Ann"
Post: Now that's sanging
Man she tow that up
That is what you call taking them back to school old time funk
Giving you your money worth sanging
I was grinning from ear to ear
I haven't seen anybody tear up the place like that in years
Thank you
Analysis: Notice the creative use of line breaks to direct the reader's attention. The unconventional spellings show the author's status as a rebel, an outsider to the conventions of "polite" literature. The work is much reminiscent of e.e. cummings.
Subject: OscarWatch -- Kate Winslet's Odds?
Poster: bob
Post: Go Kate! 8===1)
Analysis: The author refuses to succumb to the tyranny of words, choosing instead to use characters to construct a vivid picture. Either that, or there was a keyboard mishap that just happens to look like a penis.
Subject: TV Spoilers
Poster: Nate
Post: I can't believe you don't like The United States of Tara. It's brilliant and lovable and I enjoy every minute...and I laugh out loud, which is rare. I am disappointed in you.
Analysis: The author believes that the viewing (or not viewing) of television programs has a moral dimension, and that it is his obligation to save non-Tara-loving souls from themselves. He is also far too fond of the ellipsis, which probably has something to do with not getting enough hugs from his mother at three and a half.
Subject: David Archuleta Announces Tour
Poster: A SMASH HIT DEFINITELY!
Post: IT'S WORTH SEEING DAVID ARCHULETA CONCERT - I ATTENDED HIS CONCERT BEFORE WHAT A GREAT EXPERIENCED - THE ONLY DRAW BACK IS ONCE YOU'VE BEEN TO HIS CONCERT; WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN AND AGAIN.
YOU ARE JUST ADDICTED TO HIS MUSIC PLUS HE IS VERY GOOD IN LIVE.
IGNORE THOSE HATER FOR THEY ARE JEALOUS AND A DAVID COOK DIE HARD FANS - THEY CAN KISS HIS SMELLY ASS AS MUCH AS THEY WANT - WE COULDN'T CARELESS.
Analysis: The author is clearly insane.
