Saturday, January 09, 2010
On the Watch
The Watchmen is on HBO right now and it's really causing me to have some pretty seriously deep thoughts. For instance, why do film adapters feel more pressure to be true to comic books (er, "graphic novels," excuse me) than to the canon of western literature? I mean, it was fine for Demi Moore to add fucking in the grain shed to The Scarlet Letter, but you harm one hair on the Comedian's head and you'll be inundated with tersely worded letters from nerds for the rest of your life. Also, how is it that filmmakers consistently manage to make ultraviolence boring? You'd think watching people get burned alive and electrocuted and cut into pieces would at least be mildly interesting in addition to disgusting, but you'd be wrong. And finally, why is Hollywood trying to make Malin Ackerman happen? It seems like every third overhyped film spectacular you come across she's playing the wacky girlfriend or the moon faced best friend. She's like the Gretchen Mol of the late '00s.
Anyway, we're home tonight because our attempt to go out to the movies was an epic fail. First we left late, then the traffic was horrible, and then the parking garage was full. The weirdest part is that I was secretly rather relieved. It's like two degrees out and I just want to put on my Snuggie and lie back for a little while. Also gorge myself on California Pizza Kitchen. I'm a pretty dynamic guy.
The Watchmen is on HBO right now and it's really causing me to have some pretty seriously deep thoughts. For instance, why do film adapters feel more pressure to be true to comic books (er, "graphic novels," excuse me) than to the canon of western literature? I mean, it was fine for Demi Moore to add fucking in the grain shed to The Scarlet Letter, but you harm one hair on the Comedian's head and you'll be inundated with tersely worded letters from nerds for the rest of your life. Also, how is it that filmmakers consistently manage to make ultraviolence boring? You'd think watching people get burned alive and electrocuted and cut into pieces would at least be mildly interesting in addition to disgusting, but you'd be wrong. And finally, why is Hollywood trying to make Malin Ackerman happen? It seems like every third overhyped film spectacular you come across she's playing the wacky girlfriend or the moon faced best friend. She's like the Gretchen Mol of the late '00s.
Anyway, we're home tonight because our attempt to go out to the movies was an epic fail. First we left late, then the traffic was horrible, and then the parking garage was full. The weirdest part is that I was secretly rather relieved. It's like two degrees out and I just want to put on my Snuggie and lie back for a little while. Also gorge myself on California Pizza Kitchen. I'm a pretty dynamic guy.
