Friday, November 25, 2011
Remote Viewing
Did you ever notice that Matlock got a lot of fairly hot tail for a half-senile senior citizen? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like Cindy Crawford (back when she was still CINDY CRAWFORD) was guest starring as a leggy DA with a heart of gold, but there were plenty of cool blondes in their mid forties willing to slip him a subpoena, if you know what I mean, and I'm not sure that I even do. Of course, it's hard to tell if any of those ladies really had a body under their dickies and teal power suits, but they certainly weren't old balls like Matlock. They say he never lost a case, but the matter of Matlock versus man handles certainly didn't turn out very well for him.
As the foregoing likely suggests, my TV habits tend to change a bit when I'm at my parents' house. I'm always hesitant to suggest programming choices ever since that incident in the eighth grade where they faulted me for A Different World allegedly being salacious. (I think Whitley bought condoms or something.) So every morning kicks off with back-to-back Matlocks and our evenings are filled with Law & Orders and Mythbusters. I have actually reached the stage now where I find the former's hourly murders to be rather relaxing, although Sam Waterston's insurance commercials still put me on edge. Mythbusters and I will never truly be friends, however, as it reminds me too much of something a fourth grade teacher would try to show you to convince you that science is cool. Suck it, science, you will never be sports or entertainment.
Did you ever notice that Matlock got a lot of fairly hot tail for a half-senile senior citizen? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like Cindy Crawford (back when she was still CINDY CRAWFORD) was guest starring as a leggy DA with a heart of gold, but there were plenty of cool blondes in their mid forties willing to slip him a subpoena, if you know what I mean, and I'm not sure that I even do. Of course, it's hard to tell if any of those ladies really had a body under their dickies and teal power suits, but they certainly weren't old balls like Matlock. They say he never lost a case, but the matter of Matlock versus man handles certainly didn't turn out very well for him.
As the foregoing likely suggests, my TV habits tend to change a bit when I'm at my parents' house. I'm always hesitant to suggest programming choices ever since that incident in the eighth grade where they faulted me for A Different World allegedly being salacious. (I think Whitley bought condoms or something.) So every morning kicks off with back-to-back Matlocks and our evenings are filled with Law & Orders and Mythbusters. I have actually reached the stage now where I find the former's hourly murders to be rather relaxing, although Sam Waterston's insurance commercials still put me on edge. Mythbusters and I will never truly be friends, however, as it reminds me too much of something a fourth grade teacher would try to show you to convince you that science is cool. Suck it, science, you will never be sports or entertainment.
