the ocean

Legal Times

 

I had court today. No, I do not mean that there are civil or criminal charges pending against me. When I say that I had court, it generally means that I went over to the court building to wait half an hour for one of the cases I’m handling to be called and the judge to realize he accidentally forgot to just grant my motion for a thirty-day extension of time so that neither of us would have to deal with the appearance. I think my record for speaking at these appearances is something like ten words. There are exceptions, though, such as when a certain judge who shall remain nameless yelled at me for five minutes because he had my case confused with another one. (How come they never get me confused with the case they intended to give free ice cream?) I’ve also had days where the judge was in a whimsical mood and just wanted to wax poetic about today’s pop hits or something for a while. But today was fairly standard – in, out, on with life.

 

I do love, though, the sights and sounds of the court building. For instance, did you know that some people see nothing wrong with wearing sweatpants to appear before a municipal court? Or a shirt that says “Conserve Water – Drink Beer?” Then there are those who are wholly unfamiliar with the concept of a metal detector, and need about fifteen passes as they slowly shed all manner of studded clothing and facial jewelry before finally being subjected to the ignominy of a wanding. And the people who loudly take emotionally involved personal calls in the hallways outside the courtrooms. Me, I’m just there for the sweet, sweet justice.