Monday, February 16, 2015
Field Report
I took my mom to the Field Museum last week. I had the day off for Lincoln's Birthday, which I used to celebrate by sleeping until noon and watching Designing Women on cable, but now I use to entertain my mom. It was this or looking for Castle reruns on cable with her, and I must say I chose wisely. The Field Museum is a great place to see mummies or dinosaurs through crowds of unruly children who are trying to rub something sticky on you. And because I was with my mother this time, I actually made the effort to read all of the explanatory materials rather than just eyeballing some ancient corpses and running to get a Diet Coke so as to avoid giving in to my urge to punt a toddler. Did you know that dinosaurs were on Earth for more than 160 million years? Because I do now. That's almost as long as Catherine Zeta-Jones has been thirty.
We also checked out some of the less flashy, toddler-encrusted exhibits like the Hall of Gems and the Hall of Jades, which I was only mildly disappointed to discover was not a room devoted to America's Next Top Model legend Jade. We even went through the bird collection and shit there are a ton of different kinds of birds, all of which are apparently suitable for stuffing and mounting. I really liked the colorful Latin American birds, even though it made me feel somewhat racist.
The one thing I really can't understand, though, is how science has not yet found a way to make the Field Museum not smell like formaldehyde. I sense a naming opportunity for Febreeze here.
I took my mom to the Field Museum last week. I had the day off for Lincoln's Birthday, which I used to celebrate by sleeping until noon and watching Designing Women on cable, but now I use to entertain my mom. It was this or looking for Castle reruns on cable with her, and I must say I chose wisely. The Field Museum is a great place to see mummies or dinosaurs through crowds of unruly children who are trying to rub something sticky on you. And because I was with my mother this time, I actually made the effort to read all of the explanatory materials rather than just eyeballing some ancient corpses and running to get a Diet Coke so as to avoid giving in to my urge to punt a toddler. Did you know that dinosaurs were on Earth for more than 160 million years? Because I do now. That's almost as long as Catherine Zeta-Jones has been thirty.
We also checked out some of the less flashy, toddler-encrusted exhibits like the Hall of Gems and the Hall of Jades, which I was only mildly disappointed to discover was not a room devoted to America's Next Top Model legend Jade. We even went through the bird collection and shit there are a ton of different kinds of birds, all of which are apparently suitable for stuffing and mounting. I really liked the colorful Latin American birds, even though it made me feel somewhat racist.
The one thing I really can't understand, though, is how science has not yet found a way to make the Field Museum not smell like formaldehyde. I sense a naming opportunity for Febreeze here.
