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Monday, December 14, 2015

I Have a New Hobby

And it's reading the IMDB comments on terrible TV movies. It's an amazing thing, first of all, that anyone would take the time to write a comment about a TV movie that probably took as long to make as it takes to write a comment. But beyond that, the comments are wonderful windows into some very strange psyches. For example, here's part of a comment on "Web of Desire," a Lifetime movie starring a woman who once guest starred on Friends as Joey's love interest:

Web of Desire is a typical Lifetime movie; I really wished it didn't end so abruptly. It showed Beth and Jake rescuing Finn from a car accident at the end of the movie, but I was wondering how Beth would end up sorting things out at work with Brian, Friedman and Massey. Lifetime movies always end without closing the whole plot, but this one annoyed me that way. If I were the script writer though I'd have finished the whole story. Was Finn arrested for her harassment of Beth? Did Beth patch things up with Brian Doyle? How did Beth explain things to her kids? Did she ever thank Jamie for the help he gave her in catching Finn? Was Beth able to get Dr. Friedman's trust back after he caught her in her office watching Finn's sick DVD? There are so many unanswered questions at the end of this movie that it's very frustrating; I'm only giving it 7/10 stars for that.

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Seriously, so many unanswered questions! What did Beth do the day after the harassment ended? What is Dr. Friedman's home life like? Has he seen any good movies lately?

And then there's this gem discussing the Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez classic, "Holiday in Handcuffs," which inexplicably has attracted thirty comments:

Maybe it's just me, but I absolutely loved this movie, I loved Melissa in Sabrina The Teenage Witch, and Mario is such a cutie (love the dimples). The ending was predictable, but I didn't care, I love happy endings. I didn't like Melissa's hair at the beginning, but throughout it, it was looking up. I loved the storyline and have never seen any of the other movies people have posted on here, so I don't have anything to complain about. It was the first Christmas movie that I have watched, that made me laugh since the Christmas season has started. I loved the grandma, she cracked me up! I also loved when David realized that he was starting to like Trudy, It just proves that it doesn't matter what you do or who you are, love can always be where you least expect, even if it is a wild and crazy way. At least you will have a great story to tell!

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The "what you do" that doesn't matter in this case is kidnapping at gunpoint. But enough about that, let's talk about her hair!

And finally here are a few excerpts from reviews of "Unstable," starring Shiri Appleby, who I had never heard of until I saw "Unstable:"

After a while, things are happening in such rapid succession that you begin to wonder that all is not kosher with the newlyweds. What's going on with the blouse, the cell keys, the phone, emailing private business to others, and all other sorts of mayhem?

Kathy Baker stars as our victim's mother. She does the best she can with a script that really limits her role.

Recommended viewing strictly for those who have something better to do while they're watching -- like doing the dishes or scraping bubble gum off the floor.

The film never manages to be even average though.
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I could do this all day!

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