Saturday, August 20, 2016
Lochte for the Gold
Like most people, I am truly loving the Ryan Lochte scandal (or is it just a kerfuffle?), and not just because he is a well known Sex Idiot. To me, the best part is that he is a swimmer who apparently had no idea that chlorine would cause his bad platinum dye job to turn blueish green. OK, no, the best part may be that he decided not just to lie about his frankly moronic acts of vandalism, but to lie quite elaborately and in a way that could pretty easily be verified to be false. Pretending that you reacted coolly like in a Liam Neeson movie when a gun was pointed at your head by someone whose language you don't understand is not believable. Pretending that you shit your pants and had to be carried back to the Olympic village would be believable.
Oh wait, another best part. It appears that this whole thing erupted because he decided to tell his mother this elaborate cover story, and she spilled the beans to the media. If a 32-year old hadn't been scared of his mommy, and his mother hadn't had CNN on speed dial, maybe none of this would have come to light. So give that woman a medal, basically.
OK, so maybe it's all the best part. God love this country for producing such a beautiful, stupid man.
Like most people, I am truly loving the Ryan Lochte scandal (or is it just a kerfuffle?), and not just because he is a well known Sex Idiot. To me, the best part is that he is a swimmer who apparently had no idea that chlorine would cause his bad platinum dye job to turn blueish green. OK, no, the best part may be that he decided not just to lie about his frankly moronic acts of vandalism, but to lie quite elaborately and in a way that could pretty easily be verified to be false. Pretending that you reacted coolly like in a Liam Neeson movie when a gun was pointed at your head by someone whose language you don't understand is not believable. Pretending that you shit your pants and had to be carried back to the Olympic village would be believable.
Oh wait, another best part. It appears that this whole thing erupted because he decided to tell his mother this elaborate cover story, and she spilled the beans to the media. If a 32-year old hadn't been scared of his mommy, and his mother hadn't had CNN on speed dial, maybe none of this would have come to light. So give that woman a medal, basically.
OK, so maybe it's all the best part. God love this country for producing such a beautiful, stupid man.
