Sunday, July 29, 2018
Suburban Excitement 2018!
Last night we took my mom to an outdoor theater production she wanted to see in the suburbs. We did, of course, manage to screw it up in a variety of ways. We somehow failed to fundamentally understand the "outdoor" portion of that equation, and did not bring any bug spray. We also believed that we had reserved seats, only to find that there were in fact no seats, and everyone had brought their own. Luckily, we were able to rent plastic patio chairs to slide out of on the incline for the duration of the evening, at the very reasonable cost of $2 each. They did not, however, have available for rental the elaborate cheese trays and candelabra that other people saw fit to bring with them for the evening. I don't know that I've ever felt more basic.
Speaking of which, we made a stop at the mall for dinner beforehand. Surprisingly enough, malls still seemed to be big business out in this particular suburb. The place was packed, and there was lots of additional construction going on. They've even got a SEARS that's coming soon! We went to the food court, where we got to make our own pizzas. (Or had to, depending on your point of view.) And we got a cookie from Mrs. Fields afterwards, for $4. Yes, we are a very glamorous family.
Last night we took my mom to an outdoor theater production she wanted to see in the suburbs. We did, of course, manage to screw it up in a variety of ways. We somehow failed to fundamentally understand the "outdoor" portion of that equation, and did not bring any bug spray. We also believed that we had reserved seats, only to find that there were in fact no seats, and everyone had brought their own. Luckily, we were able to rent plastic patio chairs to slide out of on the incline for the duration of the evening, at the very reasonable cost of $2 each. They did not, however, have available for rental the elaborate cheese trays and candelabra that other people saw fit to bring with them for the evening. I don't know that I've ever felt more basic.
Speaking of which, we made a stop at the mall for dinner beforehand. Surprisingly enough, malls still seemed to be big business out in this particular suburb. The place was packed, and there was lots of additional construction going on. They've even got a SEARS that's coming soon! We went to the food court, where we got to make our own pizzas. (Or had to, depending on your point of view.) And we got a cookie from Mrs. Fields afterwards, for $4. Yes, we are a very glamorous family.
Sunday, July 15, 2018
My Little Ponies
I went to the racetrack with for an office event this week! I had never been before, so I was kind of excited. I guess I pictured it involving lots of elegant people wearing fantastic hats and drinking bourbon, but that was not how it went at all. There was plenty of drinking, but with the feeling that a lot of it was coming out of people's social security checks. And a lot of soft pretzels with fake cheese. Why don't they ever show that at the Kentucky Derby?
I didn't make any bets, largely because that involved automated terminals, and I was more interested in the aforementioned drinking than in trying to figure them out. One of my colleagues won $160, though. I'm guessing her strategy wasn't just picking the horses with the best names.
I was a little disappointed that the horses didn't like do tricks or anything. And there was no jousting like they have at Medieval times. Mainly they just seemed to run in circles. They also don't let you pet them, if the staff members I asked are to be believed. At least none of them got shot while I was there; somebody told me that happens. I'm assuming that's due to injury, though, and not like, street crime. They've really been working hard to prevent horse on horse shootings.
Sunday, July 08, 2018
Odds N Ends
It's been a truly fascinating summer here on Cleveland Avenue. We had the culmination of years-long House of Cards style political machinations in form of the final passage of some very modest rental restrictions for our condo association, which have of course done nothing to prevent people from blocking my garage with their moving vans. We also enjoyed the city literally tearing up all of the asphalt on our street, putting up no parking signs, and then leaving it for three weeks before finally putting a new surface down. And then there were the illegal fireworks! You know me, I love anything that will make a dog too terrified to urinate.
My mother has also been staying with us this summer, which has dramatically increased my attendance at dog parks and free concerts at strip malls. She recently had the idea to get a little bit crazy and try out a different Catholic church each weekend, so obviously that's been a pressure cooker of excitement. It has been interesting to see how many different ways there are to make the same thing really boring.
Of course, we haven't neglected arts and culture. We watched Westworld from start to finish, despite my general aversion to seeing people get shot, and sped through the new (half) seasons of Kimmy Schmidt and Arrested Development, with varying results. And we went to see Incredibles 2, without even the pretense of taking my nephew along. Children should watch movies off of pirated VHS copies while sitting in rows on the floor of a multi-purpose room as their teachers take smoke breaks, just like I always did growing up.
