the ocean

-- Zendaya will wow the red carpet in a latex body suits and crocs.
-- Co-hosts Regina Hall, Amy Schumer, and Wanda Sykes will open the ceremony with a musical number mashing up every best song winner from the last 20 years.

-- In a shocking upset, Judi Dench will win best supporting actress and deliver a profanity-laden tirade in which she calls Olivia Colman the c-word.

-- Troy Kotsur will win best supporting actor and deliver his speech in a mixture of ASL and COBOL.

-- Rather than perform her best song nominee, Beyonce will cover Paula Abdul's "Rush Rush," later explaining "I just really like 'Rush Rush.'"

-- Lady Gaga will have to be physically restrained after she catches a glimpse of the best actress trophy and begins babbling incoherently in a wildly exaggerated Italian accent.

 -- Rachel Zegler will bask in the glow of having successfully made the entire evening all about her, despite not even being nominated.

-- On My Mind will win best live action short film, spurring mixed reactions among the approximately five Americans who actually saw all of the nominees in the category.

-- Jessica Chastain will get into a knife fight.

-- After winning best actor, Will Smith will forget to thank Jada, but weirdly remember the giant mechanical spider from his 1999 smash hit Wild Wild West.

-- Everyone will joke about how long the ceremony is while doing absolutely nothing to reduce the length of the ceremony.

-- Faye Dunaway will arrive and award best picture to Space Jam 2.