the ocean

What a year it was! I think. Some of this stuff may have happened in 2021, or not at all. I drink. (Not right now, though.)

The Jojo Siwa/Candace Cameron-Bure Feud. This list is obviously in order of importance. When the queen of mildly judgmental wholesome entertainment has words with a person I believe to be a youthful YouTube lesbian, it's not to be missed. Bonus points for Jodie Sweetin having an opinion, and thus reminding everyone of her existence.

Rending a Sprinter Van. It's not just for Bravolebrities any more. Tragic that there was not one on offer with a stripper pole, but somewhat made up for by the abundance of Pringles. 

Park City. Not Salt Lake City, that's just where you fly in to. It's cute and fun and the thin air does interesting things to your brain. 

Anne Heche RIP. The Ring doorbell footage of that Mini Cooper tearing down the cul de sac was one of the finest action sequences of all time. Not a great ending, obviously, but at least the woman with the burned down house cleaned up on Gofundme.

Moving a Single Block. I'm trying to make this a trend. So worth it to have a house! I'm currently three floors away from the closest living being. Also, we can just let the dog out on the patio to pee. I may burn all my shoes and coats.

Midterm Elections. Isn't the democratic process great? Especially in that we somehow still have one.

The New LaGuardia. Here's to things being clean and functional. Though obviously one misses the classic elegance of the Auntie Anne's Pretzels.

Twitter Implosion. I always had way too many characters for it, anyway.

The Queen's Passing. I have to say, I saw that one coming. I always thought it would be in a cocaine-fueled brawl, but still. My heart goes out to the British people, especially Madonna in the late '90s.

Watching All of the Oscar Best Picture Nominees. A feat of endurance I hope never to repeat. Still a huge Drive My Car stan, though. Truth is, that lady drove the shit out of that car.

That's it. Nothing else worth talking about happened in 2022 (or whenever). Please act accordingly.