Saturday, October 12, 2024
Fall Festival
I have to say, and perhaps have said before, that I have a hard time understanding people who love fall. When they invariably start in right after Labor Day on pumpkin spice and sweater weather, I just want to kick them in the crotch. First of all, pumpkin spice is completely synthetic with no relation to actual pumpkin, so you can pretty much have it any time of year. Second, sweater weather just means that you are cold, so why celebrate that? Also, your sweaters are probably ugly.
I am unabashedly a summer person, as I enjoy long days, sunshine, and drinking out of doors. I can understand enjoying spring, because the weather is nice and everything is blooming. Frankly, spring is just a thing that sort of doesn't exist in Chicago, because winter is roughly six months of the year. And I have yet to meet someone who wants to make the case for winter, unless wanting to die on the way to work every day is your thing. But fall has its partisans, no doubt. They complain about being hot in August and can't wait to go on a hayride and get out their Halloween decorations. This is, of course, morally repugnant.
Everything has its season, as they say, so I accept that fall and winter have a right to exist. I also understand the scientific principle of "different strokes for different folks," so I try my hardest to respect people who get off on having leaves crunch under their feet. But I would love if they could shut up about it a little bit. Pumpkin spice will never love you back, okay?
