the ocean

Yesterday we went to Medieval Times with my sister and her kids. Incredibly, I had never been. I did attend a similar equestrian-themed attraction in the Dixie Stampede when I was in high school, but that was somewhat different in that it involved relitigating the Civil War. (The North did win the night we were there, which was a great relief to a good 85% of us.) 

This was a well-oiled machine from beginning to end. They had three shows back-to-back, such that people were leaving the show before us as we arrived and arriving for the show after us as we were leaving. They got us seated in a quick and orderly fashion and missed no opportunity to try to sell us something. Honestly, the frozen head of Walt Disney would admire their enterprise.

For those keeping score, we were seated in the Green section, which (spoiler alert) ended up winning the afternoon's contests. The Red knight did a bit of a heel turn but was ultimately defeated, unlike in real life. The King and Queen were not married to one another but parts of different factions that had entered into an alliance of some kind, insofar as I understood it. There were some Sid Meier's Civilization vibes to it all, to be honest.

The food was better than expected, though eating a chicken with my bare hands (lack of silverware is part of their shtick) did not sit especially well. This was not bougieness, though -- I was just fine with drinking the "dragon's blood soup" directly from the bowl. I was slightly scandalized to be allocated only two Diet Pepsis for the duration of the performance, however.

Most importantly, the kids had a great time. I don't think they're going to change their career goals to include vassaldom, but I'm a firm believer that Olden Times are a key component of any grade school curriculum.