the ocean

I knew I was in for it when I got in my car this week and the driver immediately started filling me in on local restaurants I should try while I was there for what I had already informed him was a business trip with no free time for pleasure dining. That was about ten minutes of back and forth. Then he said, "oh, I know it said quiet preferred, hope I haven't ruined your ride," to which I felt obligated to say "of course not." But I did fall silent, which I hoped would be received as a sign. It was not.

This was followed by a discourse about how the fact that Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos are divorced shows how you just can't please women no matter what you do (and here I was thinking those two were just objectively gross), a brief detour into fat women and how they always block the aisles in the grocery store (I'll admit I've never noticed this as a phenomenon), a section that included the phrase "I'm not racist, but," and a series of statements about crime in Chicago. 

There were also some "dad jokes," several of which were dirty, which I had not previously known to be a feature of "dad jokes."

I considered the fake phone call as a means out of this, but I didn't think I could sustain it for the amount of time it would take to break the spell.

To be clear, I absolutely don't mind talking to pretty much anyone, even if I have expressed my preference to not do so. But I would prefer to leave the hot button issues out of it, if possible. Instead I felt like I was somehow journeying into the bowels of AM talk radio.

I think I'm just going to have to hide at home for a few weeks now.