the ocean

Every year I do a presentation for my friend's summer program for aspiring law students. It's honestly one of those things that I always wonder why I agree to do it because it takes a fair amount of time and it's not like I'm going to be able to monetize it, but on the other hand it's kind of fun and children are our future and all that. Plus, I love making PowerPoints and this year I added a fun series of slides where I ask people to identify the white collar crimes of which different celebrities were convicted:

Martha owns this category, of course. But I also made room for Lori Loughlin and a truly excellent gif of Teresa Guidice flipping a table. Children will listen.

There is honestly some pretty great clip art that comes up when you google "white collar," along with of course images from the hit USA TV series.

I also included a case study based on Kim Kardashian's real life encounter with the SEC, mainly so I could include this photo series:

All of this is fair use because it's for educational purposes, of course. Plus I never manage to get paid for practically anything, except my actual white collar work. There's a lesson for the kids in that somewhere, I think. Of course, I don't show feet.

Anyway, I'm doing this thing. I hope the kids don't hate me, and also I don't really care. Such a great position to be in!

This is me and my friend Hillary on the Gravitron at the Lake Zurich Alpine Festival. I think they call it something else, but it's a Gravitron. The teenager operating it warned us that if anyone lifted their feet of the ground, she would stop the ride. She did not warn us about what would happen if someone vomited, but thankfully it did not become an issue, except in my mind.

So many restrictions. Biden's America. I say, let the people with drug and alcohol problems ride the Tilt-a-Whirl if they so choose. 

Our Navy Pier trip was for the purpose of seeing a show at the Shakespeare Theater. Shakespeare is pictured here with some young admirers who do not know who he is.

 We were very classy theatergoers. The Diet Coke I spilled on myself is not pictured.

After a few years of basically staying home and trying not to die of COVID, it's kind of jarring to find I basically have events every weekend for the rest of the year. Don't get me wrong, a lot of them are things that I definitely want to do, but I'm also a person who likes a full weekend of nothing every now and then. Like, how am I going to keep up on random Lifetime movies that I ultimately regret sitting through?

It rained a ton yesterday. That in and of itself would be an occasion for me to complain, given that it's a long weekend and we just redid our back deck. But it just so happened that the rain was extra problematic because my sister and her kids and their dog stayed with us Saturday night, and the highway that they take home turned into the nation's largest slip n slide. So we entertained them all day, which we are not especially well equipped to do. Children, it turns out, have shockingly little knowledge of Vanderpump Rules and no interest in discussing the latest Jill Lepore piece from the New Yorker. Also, they deemed our bread weird and our lack of chicken strips unacceptable. I ended up braving flash flooding to go buy happy meals.