Monday, May 30, 2016
Party People
We had my nephew's first birthday party this weekend. He is, of course, way too young to have any interest in a party of any kind, but this is America, so we had decorations and activities and cake and snacks that he could not eat. The largest portion of the party was by far dedicated to a family photo session with a photographer, which should yield lots of shots of a baby who is about to cry or who has recently stopped crying. There were also presents, which he did seem to enjoy, to the point that he let out a several extended screams of joy. (These must be distinguished from his screams of anger or disappointment.) Oh, and there was music from his baby music class, which is clearly designed to drive adults mad. It was quite the affair!
The cake, in particular, was quite perplexing to poor Jack. We put a piece in front of him and he only sort of gingerly touched it. We then tried to put little pieces directly into his mouth, which seemed to very much upset him. Then he started dribbling frosting all over his body, at which point we realized what a clutch move it had been to allow him to wear just his diaper for the cake portion of proceedings. Then he started crying and pretty much didn't let up. Turns out he doesn't like to be messy, just like his uncle.
All in all, it was the best first birthday party I've ever been to, though I must admit that I can't really say if I've ever been to a first birthday party before this.
We had my nephew's first birthday party this weekend. He is, of course, way too young to have any interest in a party of any kind, but this is America, so we had decorations and activities and cake and snacks that he could not eat. The largest portion of the party was by far dedicated to a family photo session with a photographer, which should yield lots of shots of a baby who is about to cry or who has recently stopped crying. There were also presents, which he did seem to enjoy, to the point that he let out a several extended screams of joy. (These must be distinguished from his screams of anger or disappointment.) Oh, and there was music from his baby music class, which is clearly designed to drive adults mad. It was quite the affair!
The cake, in particular, was quite perplexing to poor Jack. We put a piece in front of him and he only sort of gingerly touched it. We then tried to put little pieces directly into his mouth, which seemed to very much upset him. Then he started dribbling frosting all over his body, at which point we realized what a clutch move it had been to allow him to wear just his diaper for the cake portion of proceedings. Then he started crying and pretty much didn't let up. Turns out he doesn't like to be messy, just like his uncle.
All in all, it was the best first birthday party I've ever been to, though I must admit that I can't really say if I've ever been to a first birthday party before this.
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Tangled Up in Blue
We signed up for Blue Apron, a service where they send you ingredients and recipes for three meals every week. I was skeptical about it because I was afraid they'd make me eat vegetables and other horrifying things, but it turns out that you can always take a week off if the meals available that week don't look good to you. And so far the meals have been good, anyway, even if they have sometimes involved foods I can't exactly pronounce or spell. The single best one so far was probably the quinoa enchiladas, which were so tasty I actually forgot they didn't have meat in them. The spinach pasta with snap peas and onions was also quite good, though it involved a turnip of which I remained (and remain) quite skeptical.
I actually like the cooking part, too, I must admit. Although to be fair, I mainly just chop things, while Ian does the more difficult parts. But man is it satisfying to go at a potato or a zucchini with a knife.
Oh, and it's also fun just to get mail that's not bills or ads. Even if it is admittedly a bit heavy to carry up the steps. I'm sure it's good for my quads or delts or something.
We signed up for Blue Apron, a service where they send you ingredients and recipes for three meals every week. I was skeptical about it because I was afraid they'd make me eat vegetables and other horrifying things, but it turns out that you can always take a week off if the meals available that week don't look good to you. And so far the meals have been good, anyway, even if they have sometimes involved foods I can't exactly pronounce or spell. The single best one so far was probably the quinoa enchiladas, which were so tasty I actually forgot they didn't have meat in them. The spinach pasta with snap peas and onions was also quite good, though it involved a turnip of which I remained (and remain) quite skeptical.
I actually like the cooking part, too, I must admit. Although to be fair, I mainly just chop things, while Ian does the more difficult parts. But man is it satisfying to go at a potato or a zucchini with a knife.
Oh, and it's also fun just to get mail that's not bills or ads. Even if it is admittedly a bit heavy to carry up the steps. I'm sure it's good for my quads or delts or something.
Sunday, May 22, 2016
Customer Service
With our upcoming move to a bigger place has come a need for more furniture. Which means that we spent a chunk of our weekend going from furniture store to furniture store and being assaulted by salespeople. We went to the place Brooke Shields pretends to get her furniture for, the place that sends the giant ten-volume catalogues that infuriate my greener friends, the place that got name-checked in an episode of Friends. But the best place of all was where we met our friend Elise.
My first impression of Elise was that she might be a homeless person, but then I realized she was too nicely dressed for that, so I thought maybe she was just a crazy person. She accosted us outside the store in that sheepish, confessional way that people have when they are about to ask you for money. It turned out that she worked there, though, and wanted to help us with our search. She told us not to worry, though, because she wouldn't "hover."
For the next forty-five minutes, we could not shake Elise for more than a minute at a time. She followed us through the living room section, handing us post-its and measuring tape we hadn't asked for, and giving us information about upholstery we did not need. We managed to elude her for a few minutes by feigning interest in a bedroom set and heading to a different floor, but she caught up to us eventually. And gave us a fascinating history of the ottoman.
When we finally decided just to leave, she not only gave us her complete contact information, but also offered to come to our new place with us and help us "design our room." She assured us that she would give us her wallet and keys when she came in, in case we were nervous about having a stranger in our house. She also promised to loan us dozens of design books from her collection. When we got into the car, I half expected her to pop up in the back seat.
The best part of all of this is probably that we're actually going to buy a couch there, so Elise has a big commission coming her way. She certainly earned it.
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
Boxing Day
Even though we are not moving until early July, we decided to get started on packing this past weekend. It really does make some sense, if you think about it, because there is so much stuff to pack and the end of June and early July are always super busy times. Plus, easily half the stuff we own we will not miss if it's boxed up for the next month and a half. Will I urgently need my CD copy of Hootie & the Blowfish at some point in the near future? Come to think of it, why do I still own that at all? I mean, we can't deny that we as a nation lost our collective minds and went through a Hootie phase right around the time everyone was wearing high-waisted jeans and getting The Rachel, but most people did a drop off at the Salvation Army sometime after that. Will I want my American Legal History textbook in the next several weeks? That one I stand behind keeping, as the Colonial methods for trying witches alone make it worth a deeper read.
Anyway, that's what we're doing. And we already have about twenty boxes stacked up in the living room. To be clear, they are fairly small boxes, but they do make us look like squatters. Which frankly is a look I don't mind. At least it's not Crocs.
Even though we are not moving until early July, we decided to get started on packing this past weekend. It really does make some sense, if you think about it, because there is so much stuff to pack and the end of June and early July are always super busy times. Plus, easily half the stuff we own we will not miss if it's boxed up for the next month and a half. Will I urgently need my CD copy of Hootie & the Blowfish at some point in the near future? Come to think of it, why do I still own that at all? I mean, we can't deny that we as a nation lost our collective minds and went through a Hootie phase right around the time everyone was wearing high-waisted jeans and getting The Rachel, but most people did a drop off at the Salvation Army sometime after that. Will I want my American Legal History textbook in the next several weeks? That one I stand behind keeping, as the Colonial methods for trying witches alone make it worth a deeper read.
Anyway, that's what we're doing. And we already have about twenty boxes stacked up in the living room. To be clear, they are fairly small boxes, but they do make us look like squatters. Which frankly is a look I don't mind. At least it's not Crocs.
Saturday, May 14, 2016
Capital Steps
This week I had to go to our great state's capital, Springfield, for an oral argument. I've always enjoyed Springfield, ever since we went there in middle school to learn how weird the 1800s were. I remember that there was a lot of butter churning and the people slept in shorter beds that sort of required them to sit up. Also that Mary Todd Lincoln was very fat. Oh, and some kid got his shoelace stuck in the escalator at the Illinois State Museum and we were delayed in getting back by like an hour. It almost endangered our Hardee's trip; that's how serious it was.
This time, I did not get to do any sightseeing, although I did enjoy an amazing cheese-drenched dish known as a horseshoe. It's an open-faced sandwich with French fries and cheese sauce on top, and pretty much every place in Central Illinois claims to have invented it. As though anyone had to invent slathering things in cholesterol in Central Illinois. I certainly did enjoy it, though.
The argument itself seemed to go quite well. Not that that means anything. My best argument ever was for a case where we ended up losing 7-0. I think sometimes they pretend to agree with you at the argument just because they feel sorry for you.
This week I had to go to our great state's capital, Springfield, for an oral argument. I've always enjoyed Springfield, ever since we went there in middle school to learn how weird the 1800s were. I remember that there was a lot of butter churning and the people slept in shorter beds that sort of required them to sit up. Also that Mary Todd Lincoln was very fat. Oh, and some kid got his shoelace stuck in the escalator at the Illinois State Museum and we were delayed in getting back by like an hour. It almost endangered our Hardee's trip; that's how serious it was.
This time, I did not get to do any sightseeing, although I did enjoy an amazing cheese-drenched dish known as a horseshoe. It's an open-faced sandwich with French fries and cheese sauce on top, and pretty much every place in Central Illinois claims to have invented it. As though anyone had to invent slathering things in cholesterol in Central Illinois. I certainly did enjoy it, though.
The argument itself seemed to go quite well. Not that that means anything. My best argument ever was for a case where we ended up losing 7-0. I think sometimes they pretend to agree with you at the argument just because they feel sorry for you.
Saturday, May 07, 2016
Holy Mother
Mother's Day has never been a huge deal in my family. My mom just doesn't really want the attention that much, or maybe she just prefers being a martyr by telling us she doesn't want the attention. Of course, my grandmother loved the attention, or probably just loved going out to eat at reasonably-priced family restaurants, so I have been to more than a few Mother's Day brunches in my time. But now we frequently do nothing at all; Ian and I just took my mom to dinner last week while we were in Quincy and designated that Mother's Day. I had the Sonora Chicken Pasta.
Anyway, none of this should be viewed as a lack of enthusiasm for my mother, or for mothers in general. My mom spent the better part of two decades knee deep in shoebox dioramas, viola recitals, and extra credit papers about alchemists for me. She even let me get away with eating pretty much nothing but buttered white rice for a few years there. She's served as a ghost writer, an accompanist, and a staff photographer, in addition the usual motherly occupations as chauffeur, tutor, and chef. She's great! And I'm even excited that she'll be living with me part time once we move into the new place; isn't that every 38 year old's dream?
So happy Mother's Day! Call your mother. Unless she's Mia Farrow; the line will probably be busy all day.
Wednesday, May 04, 2016
From the World of Dog Science
Our vet put Aubrey on doggie anti-anxiety meds a few months back and it has utterly transformed her life. No longer do we return home to find her barking, shivering, and scratching at the door. Nor do we find the tattered remains of some poor entertainment media or other scattered across the bedroom floor. Rather, we find a calm, happy dog, who still tears around the living room like a madwoman for about ten minutes, but only in the most life affirming of ways. This is how I remember dogs being! Well, not dogs owned by me specifically -- they've generally been insane in some way -- but dogs I've seen on TV and stuff. Apparently, the widespread destruction isn't necessarily part of the package.
Anyway, this is kind of a good news/bad news situation, as we've been told she shouldn't be on the meds for more than a few months. Even though I know plenty of humans who've been on theirs for years. But maybe she's just magically normal now? I prefer to live in denial for as long as possible.
Our vet put Aubrey on doggie anti-anxiety meds a few months back and it has utterly transformed her life. No longer do we return home to find her barking, shivering, and scratching at the door. Nor do we find the tattered remains of some poor entertainment media or other scattered across the bedroom floor. Rather, we find a calm, happy dog, who still tears around the living room like a madwoman for about ten minutes, but only in the most life affirming of ways. This is how I remember dogs being! Well, not dogs owned by me specifically -- they've generally been insane in some way -- but dogs I've seen on TV and stuff. Apparently, the widespread destruction isn't necessarily part of the package.
Anyway, this is kind of a good news/bad news situation, as we've been told she shouldn't be on the meds for more than a few months. Even though I know plenty of humans who've been on theirs for years. But maybe she's just magically normal now? I prefer to live in denial for as long as possible.
Monday, May 02, 2016
Charmed
Through no fault of my own, I have started watching Southern Charm. I had always dismissed it as lesser Bravo, like a People's Couch or Workout if you will. But a couple of my friends had spoken warmly of if, and it happened to be on when I had left the remote on the desk and didn't want to get out of bed one day. And then the magic happened. Such a wonderful array of characters! By which I mean clinically insane people. Kathryn, of course, is the true star. Pretty much nothing she does ever makes any sense, which does not prevent her from doing it with maximum emphasis. And in the grand tradition of Bravo, it is impossible to believe that she actually has children. But I'm also fond of Craig, who has turned failure into a compelling art form, all slathered in gallons of hair gel. As someone who got a JD and then actually became a lawyer, I can fully endorse his plan of just kind of repeatedly forgetting to take the bar exam. And I'm fascinated by Shep, who appears to be a cartoon rooster come to life. He's skeezy in a kind of harmless-seeming Joey Tribiani way, and he rarely seems to climb out of bed before afternoon. In other words, he is my spirit animal.
As for the rest, Cameron and Landon are pretty; I'm still not fully clear on their purpose. And what's will all the gender-swapped names? We've got a male Whitney as well, who has a questionably close relationship with his mother and is "dating" a woman he sees like once a month. Is that it? Oh, Thomas. Apparently he ran for Senate against Lindsey Graham? (Another gender-swapped name. I guess it's just a South Carolina thing.) Thank God I don't have to vote down there. I probably would have just written in a vote for Kathryn.
