Monday, August 30, 2010
The Cable Gal
In what is possibly the most tragic news of all time, my Comcast On Demand has stopped working. Right in the middle of what was supposed to be a Jersey Shore marathon. (And no, I don't think it killed itself rather than endure The Situation's rhetorical grammar.) We were humiliated in front of our guests, and not just because I ate half of the chili cheese dip all on my own.
Matters did not improve when I entered Comcast's online chat room for technical issues. I was twentieth in the queue when I go there, and it took half an hour to make first contact with "Ann," a sassy slip of a gal who had many helpful suggestions like 1) shutting down the cable box and restarting it and 2) waiting to see what happened. We filled the waiting time by imagining unexpected responses to Ann's various entreaties.
ANN: What can I help you with tonight, John?
IMAGINED RESPONSE: I'm freakin out without my Jersey Shore fix here, Ann. I needs to get my Snookie on.
ACTUAL RESPONSE: My On Demand is giving me error message SRM-8, Ann.
ANN: Hold on a second while I look that up, John.
IMAGINED RESPONSE: Do you mind if I take my pants off while I wait, Ann?
ACTUAL RESPONSE: Will do, Ann.
ANN: I have some ideas about how to fix your problem, John, but I will need your help.
IMAGINED RESPONSE: Are you hitting on me, Ann?
ACTUAL RESPONSE: No problem, Ann, I'm on it.
ANN: Try unplugging the cable box from the wall, waiting fifteen seconds, and plugging it back in.
IMAGINED RESPONSE: Oh, this is just like what we did with my Great Aunt Gladys, except for the plugging it back in part.
ACTUAL RESPONSE: Sounds great, Ann. I will do it right away.
ANN: It will be about forty-five minutes until we know if this worked, John.
IMAGINED RESPONSE: You really fucked up on this one, you know that Ann?
ACTUAL RESPONSE: Thanks, Ann. You're the best.
Needless to say, the Comcast technician comes tomorrow between 7:30 and 10.
In what is possibly the most tragic news of all time, my Comcast On Demand has stopped working. Right in the middle of what was supposed to be a Jersey Shore marathon. (And no, I don't think it killed itself rather than endure The Situation's rhetorical grammar.) We were humiliated in front of our guests, and not just because I ate half of the chili cheese dip all on my own.
Matters did not improve when I entered Comcast's online chat room for technical issues. I was twentieth in the queue when I go there, and it took half an hour to make first contact with "Ann," a sassy slip of a gal who had many helpful suggestions like 1) shutting down the cable box and restarting it and 2) waiting to see what happened. We filled the waiting time by imagining unexpected responses to Ann's various entreaties.
ANN: What can I help you with tonight, John?
IMAGINED RESPONSE: I'm freakin out without my Jersey Shore fix here, Ann. I needs to get my Snookie on.
ACTUAL RESPONSE: My On Demand is giving me error message SRM-8, Ann.
ANN: Hold on a second while I look that up, John.
IMAGINED RESPONSE: Do you mind if I take my pants off while I wait, Ann?
ACTUAL RESPONSE: Will do, Ann.
ANN: I have some ideas about how to fix your problem, John, but I will need your help.
IMAGINED RESPONSE: Are you hitting on me, Ann?
ACTUAL RESPONSE: No problem, Ann, I'm on it.
ANN: Try unplugging the cable box from the wall, waiting fifteen seconds, and plugging it back in.
IMAGINED RESPONSE: Oh, this is just like what we did with my Great Aunt Gladys, except for the plugging it back in part.
ACTUAL RESPONSE: Sounds great, Ann. I will do it right away.
ANN: It will be about forty-five minutes until we know if this worked, John.
IMAGINED RESPONSE: You really fucked up on this one, you know that Ann?
ACTUAL RESPONSE: Thanks, Ann. You're the best.
Needless to say, the Comcast technician comes tomorrow between 7:30 and 10.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Pool Shark
It turns out I've sort of forgotten how to swim. I've been spending a lot of time at pools lately, which generally just involves lying near the pool and reading Us Weekly, but last week I actually jumped in to the deep end, and I nearly drowned. I did eventually figure out how to keep myself afloat, but there was a lot of embarrassing thrashing and coughing going on first. It was one of those things where you feel like everyone is staring at you and then of course it turns out no one is really even looking in your general direction, mainly because of the amount of cleavage on display everywhere. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Anyway, I did a few practice laps and I sort of figured some things out. I can do the back stroke and something roughly resembling a breast stroke, although both leave me hunting for an oxygen tank after a shockingly short period. Freestyle is pretty much entirely out of the question; I fear someone would jump in and try to save my life mid stroke. I am very good at standing in the shallow end and drinking beer, however.
To be fair, I've never been a super strong swimmer. As a kid, I mainly just went down the water slide and got in splash fights. When I took swimming classes, my goal was just to be able to stay alive in the event that I fell out of a boat. And I am rarely in boats, as it turns out.
But so yeah, I'm going to have to work on that. Drowning in a twenty-by-twenty pool would not make the coolest obituary. I want to go in a knife fight.
It turns out I've sort of forgotten how to swim. I've been spending a lot of time at pools lately, which generally just involves lying near the pool and reading Us Weekly, but last week I actually jumped in to the deep end, and I nearly drowned. I did eventually figure out how to keep myself afloat, but there was a lot of embarrassing thrashing and coughing going on first. It was one of those things where you feel like everyone is staring at you and then of course it turns out no one is really even looking in your general direction, mainly because of the amount of cleavage on display everywhere. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Anyway, I did a few practice laps and I sort of figured some things out. I can do the back stroke and something roughly resembling a breast stroke, although both leave me hunting for an oxygen tank after a shockingly short period. Freestyle is pretty much entirely out of the question; I fear someone would jump in and try to save my life mid stroke. I am very good at standing in the shallow end and drinking beer, however.
To be fair, I've never been a super strong swimmer. As a kid, I mainly just went down the water slide and got in splash fights. When I took swimming classes, my goal was just to be able to stay alive in the event that I fell out of a boat. And I am rarely in boats, as it turns out.
But so yeah, I'm going to have to work on that. Drowning in a twenty-by-twenty pool would not make the coolest obituary. I want to go in a knife fight.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Oh, Canada
So I am kind of getting back into Degrassi right now. As in like literally right now, actually. The Boiling Point marathon is on Teen Nick. And no, I am not embarrassed to be watching a channel called Teen Nick. Well, maybe slightly. But only because I'm afraid people will think I'm a child molester.
Anyway, as usual, there are of course terrible, ridiculous characters that I can't stand having them focus on. (Toby, anyone?) But I sort of love Holly J. She's just the right level of teenage type a bitchiness. Alli is also fairly entertaining because she only makes terrible choices. Also there's something weird about her face I am trying to diagnose. I love a challenge. And God help me, I am starting to enjoy Anya. I can't justify it, so don't ask me.
It's also sort of wonderful to enjoy the strange Canadianess of it all. And I'm not just talking about the accents, although hearing people say "aboot" all the time is kind of a stitch. There's a whole naive worldview as well, in the sense that a "Vegas Night" theme for a school dance is viewed as controversial and BJs in the supply closet as an absolute affront to God and humanity. Oh, and their pop music is totally lame, like sub Vitamin C stuff here. There's a reason Alanis Morissette fled the country, okay?
Anyway, I'm back in. I was out, but I'm back in. I totally feel like dodging the draft and pledging loyalty to the queen.
So I am kind of getting back into Degrassi right now. As in like literally right now, actually. The Boiling Point marathon is on Teen Nick. And no, I am not embarrassed to be watching a channel called Teen Nick. Well, maybe slightly. But only because I'm afraid people will think I'm a child molester.
Anyway, as usual, there are of course terrible, ridiculous characters that I can't stand having them focus on. (Toby, anyone?) But I sort of love Holly J. She's just the right level of teenage type a bitchiness. Alli is also fairly entertaining because she only makes terrible choices. Also there's something weird about her face I am trying to diagnose. I love a challenge. And God help me, I am starting to enjoy Anya. I can't justify it, so don't ask me.
It's also sort of wonderful to enjoy the strange Canadianess of it all. And I'm not just talking about the accents, although hearing people say "aboot" all the time is kind of a stitch. There's a whole naive worldview as well, in the sense that a "Vegas Night" theme for a school dance is viewed as controversial and BJs in the supply closet as an absolute affront to God and humanity. Oh, and their pop music is totally lame, like sub Vitamin C stuff here. There's a reason Alanis Morissette fled the country, okay?
Anyway, I'm back in. I was out, but I'm back in. I totally feel like dodging the draft and pledging loyalty to the queen.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Little-Known Terms of Tiger Woods' Divorce Settlement
-- Tiger must suck at golf from now on.
-- Elin retains custody of the gold-plated diamonds.
-- Tiger is limited to a maximum of three poorly-spelled erotic texts per month.
-- Rachel Uchitel to host new cooking show on the Oxygen network.
-- Elin prohibited from using words "man whore," "syphilis," and "small penis."
-- Tiger must leggo Elin's Eggo.
-- Tiger's dead father released from three-commercial deal with Nike.
-- Joslyn James to release director's cut of Big Breasted Nurses.
-- Elin's tell-all interview restricted toThe Wendy Williams Show or Maury.
-- Elin must accept alimony payments in Sacagewea dollars.
-- Jaimee Grubs to be drawn and quartered.
-- Tigerade formula changed to battery acid and tears.
-- ESPN to air one hour special: "Tiger Woods' Marriage: The Decision."
-- Tori Spelling to play Elin in Lifetime movie.
-- Tiger must suck at golf from now on.
-- Elin retains custody of the gold-plated diamonds.
-- Tiger is limited to a maximum of three poorly-spelled erotic texts per month.
-- Rachel Uchitel to host new cooking show on the Oxygen network.
-- Elin prohibited from using words "man whore," "syphilis," and "small penis."
-- Tiger must leggo Elin's Eggo.
-- Tiger's dead father released from three-commercial deal with Nike.
-- Joslyn James to release director's cut of Big Breasted Nurses.
-- Elin's tell-all interview restricted toThe Wendy Williams Show or Maury.
-- Elin must accept alimony payments in Sacagewea dollars.
-- Jaimee Grubs to be drawn and quartered.
-- Tigerade formula changed to battery acid and tears.
-- ESPN to air one hour special: "Tiger Woods' Marriage: The Decision."
-- Tori Spelling to play Elin in Lifetime movie.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Road Warrior
I'm going to admit something that makes me feel like a bad person. And no, it's not the fact that I purchased Easy Cheese for the first time in over ten years yesterday. When you need to eat processed cheese product, you just need to eat processed cheese product. Plus it went with the beef jerky. Anyway, what I feel sort of bad about is the fact that I just finished On the Road and I sort of hated it. First of all, I'm embarrassed that I never read it before now, because it seems like one of those books that makes it into a lot of high school reading lists. It was something I kept meaning to read but forgetting about whenever I was in a library or bookstore, and instead picking up the latest Dan Brown, which would at least fill me with equal parts amusement and rage. But then I'm also sort of upset that I didn't like it, because I always assumed I would. I mean, the beats are supposed to be so cool, and obviously so am I, so I just felt sure I would breeze right through it.
Except here's the thing: I sort of hate cool people. I mean, I kept feeling like telling all the characters in the book to stop doing so many drugs and get jobs. I couldn't get into the idea that crossing the country repeatedly was exciting and liberating. It just sort of made me feel carsick. Listening to an account of a wild night at a whorehouse in Mexico didn't impress me, it just made me feel sad for the poor women who had to fuck all these dirty losers for less than a living wage. I also didn't find myself entertained by all the drunk and high driving. I mean, I know they built cars much more substantially back in the '40s, but I don't think that made them any less deadly. Really, by the end I just felt glad that all the crazy adventures I had read about didn't have a body count. And that they were over, of course.
I admit that it was perfectly well written, though. And that should probably be all that matters. But it turns out not being able to stand any of the characters really is kind of a setback for one's enjoyment of a book. It's the same reason I couldn't finish that Ann Coulter book.
I'm going to admit something that makes me feel like a bad person. And no, it's not the fact that I purchased Easy Cheese for the first time in over ten years yesterday. When you need to eat processed cheese product, you just need to eat processed cheese product. Plus it went with the beef jerky. Anyway, what I feel sort of bad about is the fact that I just finished On the Road and I sort of hated it. First of all, I'm embarrassed that I never read it before now, because it seems like one of those books that makes it into a lot of high school reading lists. It was something I kept meaning to read but forgetting about whenever I was in a library or bookstore, and instead picking up the latest Dan Brown, which would at least fill me with equal parts amusement and rage. But then I'm also sort of upset that I didn't like it, because I always assumed I would. I mean, the beats are supposed to be so cool, and obviously so am I, so I just felt sure I would breeze right through it.
Except here's the thing: I sort of hate cool people. I mean, I kept feeling like telling all the characters in the book to stop doing so many drugs and get jobs. I couldn't get into the idea that crossing the country repeatedly was exciting and liberating. It just sort of made me feel carsick. Listening to an account of a wild night at a whorehouse in Mexico didn't impress me, it just made me feel sad for the poor women who had to fuck all these dirty losers for less than a living wage. I also didn't find myself entertained by all the drunk and high driving. I mean, I know they built cars much more substantially back in the '40s, but I don't think that made them any less deadly. Really, by the end I just felt glad that all the crazy adventures I had read about didn't have a body count. And that they were over, of course.
I admit that it was perfectly well written, though. And that should probably be all that matters. But it turns out not being able to stand any of the characters really is kind of a setback for one's enjoyment of a book. It's the same reason I couldn't finish that Ann Coulter book.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Profiler
I helped a friend fill out her Match.com profile tonight. This was fairly amazing, mostly because the profile wasn't for me. We had an extensive discussion of how to choose photos for a profile so that you don't end up looking slutty or crazy or worst of all fat. Ultimately, we went with a fairly close up face shot (simple and direct) a more full length photo (shows the lack of body issues) and a fun photo (demonstrates ability to deal with people). Then we had all of the profile fields to deal with: things she can't live without (but I don't think that's legally binding), favorite books, movies, and foods (all one category for maximum difficulty), and where she's headed in life (very existential). We sort of decided that less was more for those. The main thing is to not come across as crazy.
Speaking of which, I found that my Facebook was in major need of some decrazifying a few days ago. Turns out if you go without updating for long enough you stop liking Jack Johnson and Flavor of Love Charm School goes off the air. And now that Facebook turns each interest into a link to a separate page, they all seem way more potentially embarrassing.
By the way, Match.com asks you how often you brush your teeth and if you think birth control is morally wrong. Sounds like there are some very sexy singles out there.
I helped a friend fill out her Match.com profile tonight. This was fairly amazing, mostly because the profile wasn't for me. We had an extensive discussion of how to choose photos for a profile so that you don't end up looking slutty or crazy or worst of all fat. Ultimately, we went with a fairly close up face shot (simple and direct) a more full length photo (shows the lack of body issues) and a fun photo (demonstrates ability to deal with people). Then we had all of the profile fields to deal with: things she can't live without (but I don't think that's legally binding), favorite books, movies, and foods (all one category for maximum difficulty), and where she's headed in life (very existential). We sort of decided that less was more for those. The main thing is to not come across as crazy.
Speaking of which, I found that my Facebook was in major need of some decrazifying a few days ago. Turns out if you go without updating for long enough you stop liking Jack Johnson and Flavor of Love Charm School goes off the air. And now that Facebook turns each interest into a link to a separate page, they all seem way more potentially embarrassing.
By the way, Match.com asks you how often you brush your teeth and if you think birth control is morally wrong. Sounds like there are some very sexy singles out there.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Welcome to the Wiikend
I now have Netflix for Wii. It's pretty great, because it helps you realize all the movies that you really needed to see but never thought of. For instance, I never knew that I really wanted to watch Fired Up! Actually, that's a bad example, because about ten minutes in I understood that no one in the world should ever watch Fired Up! But I do have Netflix for Wii to thank for getting me started on Jonas LA. Although now it keeps suggesting Olsen Twins movies as "movies I'll love," which is totally false. How the West Was Fun is great, but the rest of them are sort of weak.
Today was a pretty great day, by the way. We went to a friend's roof downtown and hung out by the pool ignoring the Air & Water Show. Typically all of the low flying planes leave me a mess of jangled nerves, but this year the beer really helped to take the edge off. Plus I made a lot of fun new friends who were apparently filming an audition tape for the Chicago equivalent of The Jersey Shore by the pool. There were cannonballs and a lot of cleavage involved.
I now have Netflix for Wii. It's pretty great, because it helps you realize all the movies that you really needed to see but never thought of. For instance, I never knew that I really wanted to watch Fired Up! Actually, that's a bad example, because about ten minutes in I understood that no one in the world should ever watch Fired Up! But I do have Netflix for Wii to thank for getting me started on Jonas LA. Although now it keeps suggesting Olsen Twins movies as "movies I'll love," which is totally false. How the West Was Fun is great, but the rest of them are sort of weak.
Today was a pretty great day, by the way. We went to a friend's roof downtown and hung out by the pool ignoring the Air & Water Show. Typically all of the low flying planes leave me a mess of jangled nerves, but this year the beer really helped to take the edge off. Plus I made a lot of fun new friends who were apparently filming an audition tape for the Chicago equivalent of The Jersey Shore by the pool. There were cannonballs and a lot of cleavage involved.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
God Help Me
Will I ever reach an age where I stop breaking out? I am 32, for the record, and I have a zit on my cheek so large I feel like I should name it and sign it up for swimming lessons. And this while under the care of a hilarious dermatologist with big hair and a crazy laugh who pumps me full of drugs. I guess there's not anything more I can do, but if my voice starts changing again, that's where I'm drawing the line.
Maybe I am 13 years old, though, because I just spent half an hour reading the wikipedia and imdb entries on What I Like About You and trying to figure out where the episodes I've seen fit into the overall plotline. (It turns out I have primarily seen Season 3, where Val is engaged and Holly is dating Ben, the British musician.) I did learn some really fun facts about the show, though, such as that three of Jennie Garth's former 9021o co-stars appeared on WILAY and that the series had a crossover episode with Life With Fran starring Fran Drescher. Thank God there's nothing the Internet doesn't know.
Will I ever reach an age where I stop breaking out? I am 32, for the record, and I have a zit on my cheek so large I feel like I should name it and sign it up for swimming lessons. And this while under the care of a hilarious dermatologist with big hair and a crazy laugh who pumps me full of drugs. I guess there's not anything more I can do, but if my voice starts changing again, that's where I'm drawing the line.
Maybe I am 13 years old, though, because I just spent half an hour reading the wikipedia and imdb entries on What I Like About You and trying to figure out where the episodes I've seen fit into the overall plotline. (It turns out I have primarily seen Season 3, where Val is engaged and Holly is dating Ben, the British musician.) I did learn some really fun facts about the show, though, such as that three of Jennie Garth's former 9021o co-stars appeared on WILAY and that the series had a crossover episode with Life With Fran starring Fran Drescher. Thank God there's nothing the Internet doesn't know.
Monday, August 09, 2010
Alternate Endings to Inception
-- Cobb walks into his house. His children are playing in the yard. They turn around and run to him. "What did you bring us?" they ask. Cobb realizes that he never really liked his kids all that much to begin with.
-- Cobb wakes up on the plane. Due to a line of storms threatening the coast, the plane has been grounded indefinitely. The airline offers Cobb some free airline miles and a bag of sun chips for his troubles, which he accepts.
-- Cobb walks into a movie theater. The theater is showing Inception. Cobb walks over to an audience member and kicks him in the groin. "How do you like THAT Inception?" he asks.
-- Christopher Nolan presents a series of flow charts explaining the exact meaning of everything that happened over the previous two hours. He even throws in a few tidbits on The Prestige, just for kicks.
-- Cobb wakes up in a bed with Suzanne Pleshette.
-- Saito picks up the gun and shoots Cobb. Cobb travels into a limbo WITHIN limbo, which is just like the original limbo, but more confusing. Also Sandra Bullock is there for some reason.
-- Cobb walks into his house. Mal is there. "I thought you were dead," says Cobb. "Nope, that was just a silly mix up," says Mal. "Well, that's great news," says Cobb. "But I feel kind of stupid about being all tortured and shit all the time now." Mal shrugs. "Did you remember to DVR Jersey Shore?"
-- Ross and Rachel get married.
-- Cobb and the whole Inception gang go to a beach party in Limbo City with hilarious and sexy results.
-- Leonardo DiCaprio wakes up in the bed he shares with six leggy supermodels. It was all a terrible dream. He didn't really star in The Beach.
-- Cobb walks into his house. His children are playing in the yard. They turn around and run to him. "What did you bring us?" they ask. Cobb realizes that he never really liked his kids all that much to begin with.
-- Cobb wakes up on the plane. Due to a line of storms threatening the coast, the plane has been grounded indefinitely. The airline offers Cobb some free airline miles and a bag of sun chips for his troubles, which he accepts.
-- Cobb walks into a movie theater. The theater is showing Inception. Cobb walks over to an audience member and kicks him in the groin. "How do you like THAT Inception?" he asks.
-- Christopher Nolan presents a series of flow charts explaining the exact meaning of everything that happened over the previous two hours. He even throws in a few tidbits on The Prestige, just for kicks.
-- Cobb wakes up in a bed with Suzanne Pleshette.
-- Saito picks up the gun and shoots Cobb. Cobb travels into a limbo WITHIN limbo, which is just like the original limbo, but more confusing. Also Sandra Bullock is there for some reason.
-- Cobb walks into his house. Mal is there. "I thought you were dead," says Cobb. "Nope, that was just a silly mix up," says Mal. "Well, that's great news," says Cobb. "But I feel kind of stupid about being all tortured and shit all the time now." Mal shrugs. "Did you remember to DVR Jersey Shore?"
-- Ross and Rachel get married.
-- Cobb and the whole Inception gang go to a beach party in Limbo City with hilarious and sexy results.
-- Leonardo DiCaprio wakes up in the bed he shares with six leggy supermodels. It was all a terrible dream. He didn't really star in The Beach.
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Novelties
So there's is this hilarious commercial running on cable right now for a Chicagoland business called Novelty Golf & Games. It features a lot of people in terrycloth shorts and child molester glasses jumping up and down and playing state of the art games like Frogger. The whole thing looks like it was shot through the same gauzy filter they use to shoot footage of Barbara Walters. In fact, I believe they have saved this commercial since the '80s and now have decided it has camp value. I'm honestly not sure if they're right or not.
Anyway, I decided to research this Novelty Golf & Games, and it turns out it is roughly the most divisive topic since Roe v. Wade. Look at the following from Yelp:
This place is the worst mini golf course I've ever played on. I gave it 2 stars just because it was so hilariously bad it was fun, much the same way Plan 9 From Outer Space is fun to watch precisely because it's SO bad.
But then there's the counterpoint:
Novelty golf is loads of fun and relatively cheap if you go at the right times. Adults, kids, and anyone in between would enjoy themselves here! My husband and I had a blast and I can't wait to go back with him and maybe a group of friends. Such a cheap fun thing to do on a beautiful day!
I'm just not sure who to believe. I do believe this, though:
Not gonna lie, it feels a bit "back room porn store" in there.
So it's settled. Off to Novelty Golf & Games we go!
So there's is this hilarious commercial running on cable right now for a Chicagoland business called Novelty Golf & Games. It features a lot of people in terrycloth shorts and child molester glasses jumping up and down and playing state of the art games like Frogger. The whole thing looks like it was shot through the same gauzy filter they use to shoot footage of Barbara Walters. In fact, I believe they have saved this commercial since the '80s and now have decided it has camp value. I'm honestly not sure if they're right or not.
Anyway, I decided to research this Novelty Golf & Games, and it turns out it is roughly the most divisive topic since Roe v. Wade. Look at the following from Yelp:
This place is the worst mini golf course I've ever played on. I gave it 2 stars just because it was so hilariously bad it was fun, much the same way Plan 9 From Outer Space is fun to watch precisely because it's SO bad.
But then there's the counterpoint:
Novelty golf is loads of fun and relatively cheap if you go at the right times. Adults, kids, and anyone in between would enjoy themselves here! My husband and I had a blast and I can't wait to go back with him and maybe a group of friends. Such a cheap fun thing to do on a beautiful day!
I'm just not sure who to believe. I do believe this, though:
Not gonna lie, it feels a bit "back room porn store" in there.
So it's settled. Off to Novelty Golf & Games we go!
Monday, August 02, 2010
Back in the Saddle
I named this entry in honor of the Western-themed episode of the Wizards of Waverly Place that is currently on my television. Wait, strike that. Now Hannah Montana is on. Now I am desperately hunting for something else. The Nanny shall do.
Anyway, today I went back to work post procedure. It is sort of great working on pain medication, actually. This afternoon I was working on a brief and I hallucinated a unicorn galloping out of my coat closet. And I'm so cheerful with everyone! I barely even wanted to strangle my secretary.
Tonight I celebrated my recovery by going to Target and buying more closet organizers. I'm a Wild Child starring Emma Roberts, I know.
I named this entry in honor of the Western-themed episode of the Wizards of Waverly Place that is currently on my television. Wait, strike that. Now Hannah Montana is on. Now I am desperately hunting for something else. The Nanny shall do.
Anyway, today I went back to work post procedure. It is sort of great working on pain medication, actually. This afternoon I was working on a brief and I hallucinated a unicorn galloping out of my coat closet. And I'm so cheerful with everyone! I barely even wanted to strangle my secretary.
Tonight I celebrated my recovery by going to Target and buying more closet organizers. I'm a Wild Child starring Emma Roberts, I know.
